Everything that I am doing has a reason and a purpose, and even if only I can see the vision, I have to keep on pushing towards it. I have found myself losing sight of the reasons why I started this blog, and this fact alone calls for me to share this reflective writing.
Note to self: I cannot allow fear to paralyze me. This is my season of change. Success looks different for us all.
Change and uncertainty lead to me feeling like I have no control – this is when I must rely on faith the most.
I cannot allow fear to paralyze me. This is my season of change. Success looks different for us all.
A brief moment to express the roots of my recent panics:
I found myself bound when so many shifts were taking place at once. Finances and medical needs. Vet bills. Custody matters that required me to advocate for my experiences with an ex here in NC. Frustrations with myself when it comes to my youngest son and bi-coastal co-parenting factors as I still feel that I did not speak up enough. Advocating for self for the first time in your 30’s requires mindfulness. I found my voice, which is great, but I can’t go spewing passionate disgruntled thoughts that lead to the need to pick myself back up again and again.
We all have a list of “wtfs,” right? Yes, Indeed.
Now I have to be calm and patient. And confident and consistent. I have to embrace the changes that are taking place as I make room for a more peaceful and prosperous life.
Oh and I got a promotional teaching position! I love what I do!!! Another major reason not to allow fear to guide my steps!
Every Step Has a Purpose
My journey has purpose. My story has a purpose. My latest poetry collection (sales open soon) has purpose. Change is inevitable and expected in this journey called life. I ought not be so afraid, but when I do feel afraid, I must choose to maintain gratitude. No more looking back at childhood in a way that reiterates negative thoughts, no more of those “shoulda coulda woulda’s.” I look ahead, and it’s looking pretty amazing over this way.
I feel that as writers and parents and human beings who try hard to thrive on our own, it becomes easy to dismiss our own needs when we compare them to the needs that other people have. If I keep doing that as I plan for so many things (including setting up my new classroom!).. then where would that lead me? Seriously. This tip jar is a secure method of donating/supporting. Never any pressure.
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