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Tag: author

Poem “Resolution” – and an update of sorts

I affirm that I am on the path to reach my goals. My goals as a writer couldn’t be obtained until I obtained stability. I have shared a ton of personal things about my life here on this blog, and if you’ve been following then you may have seen not only an improvement in my writing skill, but in my ability to go beyond the tone that my blog initially displayed. The appearance and professional accents of my blog stand out a tad more now as well.

I have a poem that I enjoyed writing recently, and I wasn’t quite sure what to do with it outside of posting onto my personal social media. Because my blog is home to me, it will be shared here first. As I continue my self publishing journey I’m sure that it will be seen again. Very soon. Thank you for viewing.

Here is “Resolution.”

I also realize that I don’t often share information about my latest poetry collection. But now that I know a little more about blogging and settings and links, here is a link to The Girl is Awake on Amazon.

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Round of applause for healing? Girl, bye.

My concept of love has always been distorted. Correction: my concepts of love used to be pretty inaccurate. Parts of my growth mean a change in my perception. 

Sometimes good people cross paths at a time when they should be focused on healing but they – we… we tend to choose to hold on rather than do what is logical. Holding on and trying to force things can easily lead to a volatile outcome. 

I say so many times that moments of weakness made me stay in unhealthy relationships or caused me to be a codependent people pleasing enabler. But I have been able to wipe my lens to reveal something more.

In retrospect, I have been in committed relationships with amazing people. Healthy, loving individuals. But I was not ready to be who they deserved. I can honestly say that there are many people who never got to know the healthy, balanced, positive version of me. And once I became firm in being a better Jessica, I became angered when some people didn’t care to meet this Jessica. The other Jessica had done too much damage. I have had and do have and will continue to have healthy, flourishing friendships. I now see that quality is more important than quantity. And location. 

And as forgiveness is a must, I forgive myself for my detrimental past of hurting others. This extends to past friendships, relationships, and family members who I have caused any pain to. 

My choice to release certain narratives cannot and will not be for approval or acceptance. But initially, that is what I thought healing would do for me. Maybe I envisioned myself stepping into an auditorium and being met with a massive round of applause because, “Hot damn, Jessica is really doing so much better now. She’s healed!” 

My concept of self has always been distorted. Correction: my concepts of self used to be pretty inaccurate. Parts of my growth led to a change in my perception. 

I could go on, and I probably will. But I will save that for another blog post. 

As always, thank you for viewing.

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“But – it wears off, don’t it?”

I’m getting better at the blogging lifestyle and letting vulnerability coax me away from fear.

I am stubborn when it hurts me most.

If pride is the devil then he surely taunts my humility.

But I don’t always know the difference between confidence and arrogance

So I tend to filter myself a bit – I guess I, too wear a mask

I don’t know whose lens I am seen through, and if perception of self is most pivotal – well then.

Shape shifting and blending in I felt once protected me.

But now I see the internal aftermath.

*** For those who enjoy my posts: thank you. I really enjoy the different voices and talents that I read and interact with here. I have made many strides and improvements to my blog, please do consider checking it out. Many of you have been consistent with this for years and it’s just very refreshing to receive inspiration and feedback. I value this community and it keeps a fire lit in my spirit.

If you would like to connect across platforms, please see my links below.

I am embracing consistency, flirting with self love, and allowing clarity to rebirth truths only necessary for my growth. God is good.

I would like to share a few previous blog posts:

“Do you have the time? I’m late but I’m here.”

https://jusjesspoetry.org/2023/05/09/do-you-have-the-time-im-late-but-im-here-1/

“Sharing a brief walk down memory lane- in a poem, a few pictures, and a spoken word video”

https://jusjesspoetry.org/2023/05/13/sharing-a-brief-walk-down-memory-lane-in-a-poem-a-few-pictures-and-a-spoken-word-video/

As always, thank you for viewing.

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Show yourself, Grace

Aren’t we but a series of voices

Relaying messages forward from different lifetimes?

Am I not of my late great-grandmother,

Who bought me a journal

Just after a series of troubled teenage years?

She said: 

“Whatever you do, don’t stop writing.”

What did she see in me?

Was it not the very same thing that I saw in her eyes 

As tears formed when she touched my womb

Which carried my unborn daughter?

If I could press record and keep track 

Of the private moments and memories,

The conversations,

Wouldn’t that be a clever life cheat code?

Because pictures and footage of gatherings

And functions are awesome,

But WHY didn’t I capture those 

Moments and

Memories and

Conversations

That many wouldn’t believe

If I stood before them now

And attempted to summarize

The depths of those 

Moments and

Memories and

Conversations?

I open my mouth to attempt 

Such a task but what comes out 

Is gibberish,

Talking in circles,

Unable to verbally 

Use my favorite tool,

Words.

Unable to tap in

And reach through,

For she said whatever you do

Don’t stop writing.

My dear late cousin told me 

To never stop fighting.

Gosh, why can’t I say these things

When given the chance?

Instead I become flabbergasted

At the slightest glance

But if only they knew

The depths of what is inside –

It isn’t that crazy,

It isn’t intoxication,

It ain’t that hazy.

It is deep and spiritual

And I wanted to run,

But the purpose of greatness

Had already begun

I say to people all the time:

“Show yourself grace.”

Sure, it is true that 

My mind moves at a pace

Faster that my body can maintain

But listen:

All it takes is a moment to slow down,

Have a talk or several with God,

Pick myself up,

No need to stay down.

And I think deeply of how those who

Came before me,

Saw something inside 

Although I longed to destroy me.

I pray, meditate,

Take a walk, or eight.

I wash my face,

I slow my pace,

And after that talk, 

I whisper,

“Show yourself, Grace.”

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Day 1 of digging deeper

“If I could, I would like to reach out and touch the world with my writing. I have many projects that I plan to unleash and I am excited about sharing the creative thoughts that flow through my fingers.”

I was onto something. I mean, I was really really onto something. I published this project in April of 2012.

“A small collection of poems and thoughts from the perceptions of love, pain, abuse, and healing. This collection serves as an introduction to J. D. and her unique perceptions of life.”

***This is from the reflections and excerpts page of my blog. This page will feature regularly posted reflections and excerpts from my self published projects.

Check it out and stay tuned.

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What Would it Mean to Touch the Sun?

What would it mean to touch the sun?

Silly me and my vivid dreams.

Create the life you desire.

Don’t get too close to the fire.

Create the safe haven you have always been seeking.

Silly girl, you won’t find it in other people.

Safety net

Safe place

Shame 

Vulnerability

Disgrace.

Guilt trip.

Healing,

Revealing the ugly sides of self, too.

Silly girl, healing doesn’t guarantee that anyone will understand you.

Internal growth isn’t for show or acceptance

It’s for peace

Self love,

Connection with God above.

What would it mean to touch the sun?

Would I combust into pieces

And then dissipate into nothingness?

Wouldn’t that sting at first

But then lead to eternal bliss?

Is the sun the gateway to freedom?

I don’t want to open one more door

That could lead to disappointment

But what enjoyment comes

From living a life in solitude?

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POST 2 on Faith without Works – 2012 vs 2022

This collection of poetry started coming to me during an awakening of sorts, and I felt compelled to self publish this in 2022. It represents a journey that I can’t quite describe, but I am very thankful for it. 34 poems published during my 34th year of life. The growth displayed between my 2012 publication speaks volumes. Here are 4 pieces.

***As always with my works: TRIGGER WARNING

“The Girl is Awake” 2022
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Faith without Works 2012 vs 2022 – Post 1

I often reflect on the growth displayed in my works. I must also remind myself of why I do what I do. Writing keeps me alive. But I must continue to work towards not only my wellness, but all things that enable me to thrive. I am sharing here a sample of my self published collection from 2012. Please enjoy this post and the ones to follow.

I will do a couple of these posts not only for comparison purposes, but also as a reminder to myself.

As always with my works, TRIGGER WARNING.

“Contemplation of my Reflection” 2012
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