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Tag: affirmations

On the note of what to leave behind:

What is the legacy you want to leave behind?

On the note of what to leave behind

As I run in circles through my mind

I know that I have left a footprint or two

But how the marks are interpreted will be up to you.

For my children I could save some cash

But without passing on financial literacy, how long would it last?

I can imprint in their minds a strong, superhuman mother

But that would be an illusion

As there have been times when I was driven by pain and delusion.

So here I am at 35 trying to stay well –

I want to stay alive.

And for the rest of my days 

I will be sure that I leave behind

A legacy of craftsmanship, notes of expression, even the frowned upon kind.

And I will show that it is possible to

Step out of a tumultuous state of mind

No matter if it is self inflicted,

Stuck for years or even the

Neurospicy kind.

I desire to leave behind

Happy memories

That far outweigh

The pounds of despair

On any bad day

I have laid out so much of myself,

Continued growth is the only option left.

I want my legacy to be as appreciated as 

Millions of dollars that carry families through generations

I want to capture the warmth

The pride the very indescribable

Sentiments that make people want to thrive.

That is how we keep faith and hope alive.

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Sharing a brief walk down memory lane in a poem, a few pictures, and a spoken word video

“Maybe”

Maybe my lack of satisfaction has nothing to do with a diagnosis

Because maybe, possibly, it could be true

That there’s just something greater that I’m meant to do.

Twirling and attempting to manipulate mood rings as a child,

Never backing down from a fight,

Learning that women can have autonomy even if the head of their household doesn’t belief in such things –

That a woman can be her own head of household instead of clipping her wings –

Some limitations we place on ourselves,

Dust collecting on passions 

That will only become trophies if we make it so

Some things we must do ourselves.

I want to share some pictures and videos that speak louder than the lines shared above do. Thank you for viewing.

I attended this college in undergrad before choosing to go off into the military. My days as a student here were so meaningful that I returned as an adult before I began giving in to my nomad tendencies (again).
I visited the University of North Carolina School of the Arts many times to accompany my late paternal grandfather to complete tasks at his job on this campus.
I entitled this spoken word video “Freedom”
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Part 2 – Do You Have the Time? I’m late, but I’m here. (Writing my way into my destiny)

Sometimes I feel that people choose not to heal because they reach a point where they see no purpose in doing so . Although being trauma bound and stuck in victim mentality can be tricky to escape from, it is more difficult to consistently step out of it. 

Personal Reflection:

Starting a healing journey will not lead to the arrest of your childhood abusers. It does not make toxic people in your life see the light. It does not guarantee any apologies. It does not make family look back and go, “Hmm. That’s why he or she is that way.”

Unless you’re a notable member of society  with high status and a wonderful reputation or a ton of money, many people of society don’t care what happened to you. Many people do care, but it’s quite often not the people you’d like to care most. And there are times when those we want to care actually do care, but they may feel powerless as to how to address the taboo topic. They also may be simply trying to keep themselves balanced and may not have the capacity.

My point:

And that’s okay. That’s why we create safe places for ourselves. I have been in therapy for over 10 years. And while I often long to shout things from mountaintops in hopes that my recurring nightmares dissipate, I would much rather be driven by the dreams that I enjoy. The dreams that are leading me to my destiny. My soul’s purpose. Besides, I have a fear of heights.

Some secrets pass away with us. And while I was so close to something by sharing my own secrets, I now realize that I don’t have to. I just needed to forgive myself for my own role in my suffering. And let go.

I got to this point of acceptance: that even though my feelings are valid, it holds no true value to my growth to make a long list of who done what when and why, nor is it acceptable to use that list as an excuse for all the wrong that I have done to others and myself.

The only thing standing in my way at this point is me. And from this day forward, I am going to write my way into the future that I have dreamed of my entire life.

And I’m going to do it right here on this blog.

You may find me floating around on social media, posting many cool and seemingly odd things, but I refuse to stop writing. Thank you for viewing, and please do share any parts of this blog or any of my social media posts with whomever you desire.

Facebook: (New Page) Jusjess Poetry page (@jusjesspoetry)

Instagram: @jusjessmomx3

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“But there is this one thing…”

It makes me… Me.

Drop delusion:

The core of who I am 

I bleed

I think

I breathe

I am

Poetry.

Soul Identity Race Gender Preference Social Class

This remains within my grasp – Do you feel the rhythm of the beat of me?

I see

A glimpse of God and Heaven 

When I write,

And even when I don’t get things quite right

I’ve got this.

And there are times

When I still operate out of 

Ego & Pride

Trying to figure out which

Parts of me to show & which parts to hide

It is impossible

To deny

This one thing.

I know where I’ve been, and I know where I’m going. Pep talking & tip toe walking into a peaceful future.
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The Other Side

I have faith that on the other side of trauma and healing, on the other side of painful and in depth growth, there is a form of Heaven on Earth. That we don’t go through all of the uncomfortable stages in this lifetime just to await the gates of Heaven above. And while that is the most amazing destination, I feel that we all deserve peace and to enjoy our time here. And with that said, I am ready to ensure that I do just that.
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Intentional

The top video shows imagery with effects and the words to the poem “Intentional,” which can also be found below. The second video I just wanted to share as it was a beautiful cloud gazing day form my patio yesterday.

Thank you for viewing this blog post. Admittedly I have been a bit “scatterbrained” lately, but I am working hard to narrow my focus as it pertains to my daily functioning.

I have thoroughly enjoyed reading the works and posts of so many wonderful people. It is my intention to get back into browsing the blogs and amazing works of art and poetry and inspiration that have helped me keep my love for writing alive.

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How the first week of National Poetry Month went – Enjoy this selection of poems!

Here I have some pieces that I created to kick off National Poetry month. Some of these poems were inspired by prompts created by well known poets and poetry organizations from Instagram in which I will ensure to give credit to and mention upon their permission and discretion. I will also return to this blog post to update any information as needed.

This post serves not only to keep poetry inspiration thriving but as a reminder to myself of why I am still on my current path.

“All my life I had to write…”✨

Quite a few of these I have yet to title. Enjoy, and as always, thank you for viewing.

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