I brought with me desperation
And false hope that I would be filled by
What you pretended to have.
Both of us, selfish and unwell.
I carried with me regret and shame
And the lack of awareness that I
Unhappy displeased with me
But found much pleasure in you.
And then that thing happened
That I wasn’t expecting.
Falling in love for me means many things
But falling in love as the wounded me
Was a guaranteed path
Towards neglecting me.
Neglecting me more
And opening doors
Rather than considering boundaries.
You don’t believe in boundaries.
Especially from a woman.
Who was I but a stray at that time
In that moment
But then that thing, it happened again
And all of a sudden I began to care
About each and every other thing
Said and done
That didn’t quite match
Things said and done
The week before
The day before
The hour before
In those public places those times.
Another series of contradictions.
How could I have expected what I couldn’t have cared to see
Before just doing those things
I thought would fulfill a younger me
Held onto the memory of that moment
From decades ago
And you picked at that scab
Until I bled out vulnerability.
In this moment I remind myself that you were just a moment,
A series of lessons
That I never wanted to learn. Truths that I didn’t want to face.
I traced and I paced
And I now see that my life
And the saving of it
Required a spiritual awakening.
Moments that I release and will no longer carry with me.
Jusjess Poetry – Writing My Way Into My Destiny
My Social Media Platform Links:
Thank you for viewing! Don’t forget to subscribe, let’s connect and interact!