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I sit back,

hands down 

looking deep within myself – 

I still have a ways to go, you know.

That spark has always lived within 

my mind,

that conscience won’t allow me to blow it out,

even when I long to be blind.

Each time that I try to cave in nowadays

it causes a very verbal fluctuation

and until I am able to balance out that 

interpersonal part,

I depart from circles of quarrels 

when truthfully this is a personal venture,

a vision that no one else can see.

The soot that rises from my feet 

is a resemblance of me.

Radiant when I stop avoiding  

the reality of difficult things.

I sit back 

hands down 

Looking deep within myself – 

I still have a ways to go, you know.

I am not fully intact 

and there are things that I cannot take back. 

They say that spiritual awakenings 

bring a profound connection to self

which is no justification to hold on to the 

habits that trauma longs to pass down.

I stand in my truth now.

But that doesn’t mean I have it all figured out. 

I am not the mistakes that I have made.

I am not the burden carrier 

I’m not a barrier between 

anyone and their own widening

because we are all deserving of internal expansion. And peace.

I’m too much in an in-between zone

to try and show others what I mean –

so it comes out in a way that continues to label me 

as all that I no longer wish to be. 

Jusjess Poetry – Writing My Way Into My Destiny

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