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This poem is inspired by Morning Inspiration Writing Prompt No. 277, found below at Nortina’s Writing Inspiration Well.

Morning Inspiration Writing Prompt:

Visit Nortina’s Writing Inspiration Well to view this writing prompt: https://nortinaswriting.com/2023/08/01/morning-inspiration-writing-prompt-no-277/

I Knew He Would be Trouble

I knew he would be trouble when after one message, I had no boundaries.

When he entered my home 19 years later,

when I reverted to my 14 year old self,

I knew I was in trouble.

But I liked the idea of it all as my unhealed self. 

Conflict met abandonment wounds met

we both sought validation.

Blank stares at my reflection,

stumbling fumbling struggling with myself

and my identity.

I knew he would be trouble 

because I wanted him to save me.

I knew we would run into trouble because we hit the gas pedal,

sky rocketing into chaos.

The love bombing was so intense,

it was a fairytale.

I love stories. Intricate ones equipped with elaborate details.

I knew he would be trouble,

but I didn’t anticipate

waking up and being able to see how in my turmoil

I played a role, that familiar

sabotaging pattern, that bad habit,

that ability to assimilate.

Pain into purpose, accountability.

Uncomfortable healing steps.

I was armed with buckets of white paint and a misconstrued concept of love,

he stimulated my body and my mind,

I heard words. Amazing words. I love words.

But the actions were the toxic trauma bond kind. 

I knew we were in deep 

when I caught glimpses of both of our masks and the chains wrapped around each of our minds .

The only solution

is to exit delusion

in those types of soul exchanges.

Those teenage wounds, they clung to us.

You, angry and empty.

Me, hurt and yes, empty too.

Love doesn’t make you lose sight of your value.

Thank you for viewing.

Jusjess Poetry – Writing My Way Into My Destiny

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