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And the things that we do to ourselves.

If I be a nomad then each year has been a season and I am yearning to roam.

If I be but a drifter then what is the point of an endless search for a place called home?

Am I a gypsy?

For surely I am bound 

To my emotions that keep me wound

Lose cannon.

I am not a ticking time bomb 

But I teeter when ignoring my intuition 

Leaves me feeling worthless.

Don’t take away my ability to think 

Don’t rob me of a choice.

I spent decades learning how to find my voice 

So damn right my fuse is lit.

But know that it isn’t all you.

This is a frequent thing that I do 

I do it to myself

But my intentions are always good.

Wait… are they?

If I know that no good deed 

Will satisfy me

Then are my intentions really that pure?

Maybe I have to learn more of this therapy stuff

So that I can stop feeling so insecure 

And unsure 

Of myself and those around me.

Am I a gypsy? 

Or do I just have BPD?

I have often enjoyed using terms such as ‘nomad’ and ‘gypsy’ as an addition to my quirky characteristics. These terms have often been used in a negative light, but that has never been my angle.

Spit it out, Jess. What’s the point of this gypsy nonsense?

Right. I have to keep working hard not to sabotage my growth while remembering that my current stressors, feelings, or even my hormonal issues are not anyone else’s responsibility. It’s nobody’s fault that I am panicking about personal matters and accountability helps me to not shut down or react in an emotional way that is damaging to others. I have a purpose, and when it comes to mental health awareness I have to do my part in ending stigma.

I am a work in progress. I have to practice more mindfulness as the circumstances that led to me posting the poem below onto social media had me overwhelmed. I own my truth, and this BPD/ADHD thing has been intense to navigate (oh, and the GAD and PTSD!) But that is another reason why I put my all into this blog.

Now that this poem is here in my safe place, I can go run and delete if off one social media platform in particular. Today I hold myself accountable for adding to my stress by taking on more than I have the capacity to. I thank God for growth, and I still see many things that I must let go of.

This may be another perfect moment to take a social media break, mainly the platforms that are not beneficial to me during moments like today. The last time that I unplugged I wrote a pretty comical poem about it. Read it below!

I had fun writing this poem, check it out: https://jusjesspoetry.org/2023/07/05/social-media/

Jusjess Poetry – Writing My Way Into My Destiny

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2 responses to “Am I a Gypsy? Or is it BPD? A clever poem and reflection about mental health.”

  1. What a wonderful post… Love the forms and thoughts and the really great poetry! It feels right from the heart, is super relatable and filled with empathy.

    1. Thank you for reading and for your comment! This journey has required so much introspect and has been intense. But so so worth it. ✨

Share your thoughts. Don't be shy! But be do be Kind!

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