Jusjess Poetry – Writing My Way Into My Destiny
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Hefty are these steps
That I take to stay alive.
I practice for conversations,
Role playing
To prepare for how they’ll go.
It’s actually not so childish, you know?
✨ See it’s not that I avoid conflict that may arise from:
- Emotions
- People
- Places
- Situations
- Things
- Memories
Damn, there I go again, running from the truth.
Did I fool you?
Next week in my therapy group
I want to be prepared.
Communicating in a way that’s correct
While maintaining my self respect
That part I always forget if
Wanting to keep my dignity intact
Leads to unfavorable reactions
Then
My tendency to sacrifice me
And people please
Is still hefty.
Hefty are these steps
That I take to stay alive.
It’s a dog eat dog world
And I said I want to be a cat.
This therapy group will help me continue to grow.
How much easier it is to stay lost.
What comes of this dedicated
Trek who spray painted this track
These skills that I lack
Pacing aimlessly,
Me.
Hefty are these steps
That I take to stay alive.
It’s a dog eat dog world.
I said that I want to be a cat,
Grateful but leery of the hands that feed me –
Fed me life goals and tools that I didn’t have
I often feel guilty for having this security
Yet I do long to clock in and win,
Seeing the numbers
And fruit of my labor again,
Supplementing my importance and value in society.
Today I answered a writing prompt
Knowing that it’ll take quite a while before I am actually
In the space of being unbothered
By the perceptions of others
And how I am viewed.
My mind, a bit skewed but I am thriving.
Wants and desires
Feed a fire
That won’t allow me to succumb
To past versions of myself,
They are gone. Can’t flourish while being numb.
Jusjess Poetry – Writing My Way Into My Destiny
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