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Jusjess Poetry – Writing My Way Into My Destiny

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Hefty are these steps

That I take to stay alive.

I practice for conversations, 

Role playing 

To prepare for how they’ll go.

It’s actually not so childish, you know?

✨ See it’s not that I avoid conflict that may arise from:

  • Emotions
  • People
  • Places
  • Situations
  • Things
  • Memories

Damn, there I go again, running from the truth. 

Did I fool you?

Next week in my therapy group 

I want to be prepared.

Communicating in a way that’s correct

While maintaining my self respect

That part I always forget if 

Wanting to keep my dignity intact 

Leads to unfavorable reactions

Then

My tendency to sacrifice me 

And people please

Is still hefty.

Hefty are these steps

That I take to stay alive.

It’s a dog eat dog world

And I said I want to be a cat.

This therapy group will help me continue to grow. 

How much easier it is to stay lost. 

What comes of this dedicated 

Trek who spray painted this track

These skills that I lack 

Pacing aimlessly,

Me.

Hefty are these steps

That I take to stay alive.

It’s a dog eat dog world.

I said that I want to be a cat, 

Grateful but leery of the hands that feed me –

Fed me life goals and tools that I didn’t have

I often feel guilty for having this security 

Yet I do long to clock in and win,

Seeing the numbers

And fruit of my labor again,

Supplementing my importance and value in society.

Today I answered a writing prompt 

Knowing that it’ll take quite a while before I am actually

In the space of being unbothered

By the perceptions of others 

And how I am viewed.

My mind, a bit skewed but I am thriving.

Wants and desires

Feed a fire 

That won’t allow me to succumb 

To past versions of myself, 

They are gone. Can’t flourish while being numb.

blue athletic field
Photo by Mateusz Dach on Pexels.com

Jusjess Poetry – Writing My Way Into My Destiny

Questions, feedback?

Email me here!

Thank you for viewing! Don’t forget to subscribe, let’s connect and interact!


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2 responses to “Hefty Steps to Stay Alive – Who Spray Painted this Track?”

  1. Soooo much truth here and you struck a chord with me in something you said….you sacrifice yourself to people please. *snap snap snap* Oh if this didn’t hit home. I sometimes get caught up in how I think people perceive me and try to change to fit their view but because I don’t really know what they’re thinking…it’s a mess lol I’m learning to be comfortable with who I am regardless of outside influence. It’s hard but my peace is in tact. Great work here.

    1. Thank you so much, and yes that people pleasing tendency is a challenge in itself when trying to grow. This work is hard work, but worth it! I appreciate your reading and commenting on my work, this here keeps me alive, too!

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