THEN VS NOW!
This posts shares:
- Poem: Constantly Searching
- Rejection Spirals & The Beautiful Moon
- Poem: This is Love
Consistent as the sky is a permanent hue
Constantly searching for something to do
Consistent in spontaneity
Constantly seeking metamorphosis
Consistent in confusion
Constantly seeking bliss
Consistent in twiddling thumbs
Constantly on the run
Consistent in switching roles
Constantly rotating short-lived titles that was fun
Consistent candid critiques of self
Constantly chipping away ‘til nothing is left
Constant need to replenish
“Constantly Searching” is my way of bringing awareness to topics as they relate to mental health, stigma and self-discovery. It is very fitting in relation to an in-depth post that I recently made. You can find that post below.
Knowing what I now know about myself, mindfulness helps in moments that are similar to what led me to write “Rejection Spirals & The Beautiful Moon.” But the thing about progress…
Validation Seeking versus Embracing Self-love
I am diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, ADHD, ptsd, and generalized anxiety disorder. These things do not make me a walking ticking time bomb nor do they make me unlovable or incapable of loving others.
What a world it will be once the stigma and judgment that reiterates shame can be wiped away or at least less common so that more people can choose to heal. I don’t know about you, but I had to make a series of critical choices. And I always will have to make those daily, conscious decisions. I’m in this to keep myself and my household intact and to raise healthy children who have the tools to thrive. And so each day I must put barriers in place that can prevent me from being able to do those simple things that many take for granted.
I know that it’s hard for many people believe, but I didn’t know what self love really was. I actually took this statement offensively: “You need to focus on self love,” and rolled my eyes each time I heard “You need to learn how to love yourself, first.” I was stubborn and defensive for years.
When your self image wavers, it is difficult to embrace the concept of self love. Learning myself has been a rewarding process. Arming myself with the tools to thrive, albeit a little later than I should have, has opened doors for me that I never would have imagined possible. The internal kind of doors. In the mind.
As I continue to navigate this life thing, in a seemingly different but amazing manner, I affirm that I love and accept myself. And I am and will continue to pass down many valuable lessons to my children.
Read my poem “This is Love.”
Browse, subscribe, interact, connect. “All my life I had to write…”