A Letter After a Dream

To Whom it May Concern:

Um, hi.

So…

Excuse me, I don’t mean to intrude

I dreamt about releasing control in the spirit of gratitude

Whilst I am still growing I must work to balance my mood

Well truthfully that kind of work is lifelong, otherwise I’m screwed

Wait, I can’t start this letter in a negative tone, let my fix my attitude

I no longer want to be viewed

As this lewd

Rude

Person that is not worthy of being known,

And while I long to be valued I don’t have this worry when I’m alone

And it’s tricky, this in-between place

Because society will have me thinking that I am a disgrace

For wanting to know a little more about the history of certain values

For wanting to know why at 35 I still long to give clues

To people who love me

Of things they know not about

I’ve got the tools, these new tools,

But the clues

Don’t excuse

Any unhealthy things I have done.

Last night I was stuck on Google again,

Reading about my complex diagnoses,

That kinda vigorous research

Left me feeling a little hopeless

But what I woke up with today

I was left with in a dream:

She said, “Well, have you learned your lesson?”

Among many other things.

And with that I release trying to control so much as I gratefully take in all lessons along a difficult journey. What a blessing.

Thank you for reading. Stick around to read my poem “Show yourself, Grace.”

Show yourself, Grace – The moments we cannot capture.

Jusjess Poetry