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***Trigger warning***

They should have warned me about what would happen

Once that box was opened.

light inside chest box
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Once years of suppressed bullshit would

Explode into whatever the fuck that was.

For years.

It took me until the age of 21

When I was stationed in Japan

To eat a tater tot.

Blue lights.




auto automobile blur buildings
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Trust who?

Apartment walls aren’t thick enough.

There’s still a pile of dust that we missed, get the broom.

I can still hear crying down the hall.

Before Autumn

brown leafed tree selective focus photography
Photo by Lina Kivaka on Pexels.com

**Did I already say trigger warning?!!!

I knew I liked the same sex before any grown man took my virginity.

Before that neighbor who is likely deceased hugged my neck.

Before my promiscuity peaked in my teens.

I knew how I felt before any trauma.

I knew I was a fighter before it became a defense mechanism.

I was tough before my ego stepped in.

Some shit you can’t escape.

Autumn is still my favorite season.


There’s a slew of apologies that I owe to past lovers. Many will never get the chance to meet the new me. Many don’t want to. And that’s okay.

Forgiveness is for self?

One of my family members told me that my writing made him want to sl*t his wrists. I was in middle school. What a wonder it would have been had he asked me a thing or two instead of choosing those words.

I just knew that I had to get away. I had to be more. Do more. I had to be more than what trauma wanted me to be.

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