I get it . 

You want to control 

You want to stifle me but see-

My resiliency.

From the time I was a child you, in various forms, tried to hold me mold me choke me 

Silence what’s  inside 

But see.. 

The thing about resiliency..

I may have stumbled I may have fallen 

Short of expectations 

I might’ve wished that I had a level of deeper understanding 

I might have been lost and not quite known myself 

I might have slipped 

I might have relapsed into the addictions 

Of that stimulated mind 

The narcotic type turmoil of the narc mind

The result of emotionally immature parents 

Growing up in a family full of secrets 

For even though he touched me still today I keep it

But you see.. the thing.. about… resiliency…

My mistakes did seem to follow me the form of patterns

To accept love in forms that I didn’t have to choose

When it’s easy to revert into a traumatic child like mind

When it is all too easy 

To return to survival mode

And 16 years later will I make my three kids do the same?

All because I’m seeking a validation that can’t be claimed

From any source only that which is within?

I messed up again.. and again…

But see.. 

RESILIENCY

Seeing through a mentally stable and sober mind

Knowing that I am deserving

And only I continue to block my path to success 

These words that beat as my heart pounds through my chest

See I am that spirit

I may get knocked down but I won’t stay down.

MY.

RESILIENCY.