Life ain’t as sweet as this villanelle

*Trigger warning

Looking back at the stuff I bought

Some things with purpose some things just for fun

Life ain’t as sweet as little me thought

Silly, sassy, stubborn but I took in school lessons taught 

Accomplishments made me feel like someone

Notoriety and applause stopped, leaving me distraught

I am not the shape shifting unpredictable fighter like they thought

Lonely lanes of life forcing me to undo bad things done

It was much easier being a f**k up, no purpose, sitting to rot

But I didn’t want permanent psych ward living or three hots and a cot

Pointing the blame everywhere else forgetting that I am the one

Who chooses my avenue, professor or harlot

The spectrum is broad no need to lay out a plot

I’ve made peace and happiness has begun 

Cuz even in solitude I reflect “what is it that I sought?”

Girl, you better get it together wipe those tears and snot

How dare you wanna stare down the barrel of a gun?

We all have purpose amidst plight moments, at least you’ve grown to let your spirals be caught

Okay, I’ll stop trippin just cuz life ain’t as sweet as little me thought.

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